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125 How To Get Good at Telling The Truth

125 How To Get Good at Telling The Truth

Last week I spoke about why I’ve stopped using “vulnerability”… and why being truthful is a prerequisite for control of your reality. But if you have a history of “low fidelity” (anything from compulsive lying to being vague),...
123 Why I’ve Stopped Using ‘Vulnerability’

123 Why I’ve Stopped Using ‘Vulnerability’

“Vulnerability” is one of the most misused and misunderstood terms. Here’s why I’ve stopped using it, and what I use instead. #highfidelityreality #shouldmenbevulnerable #howtobegoodattellingthetruth Check out other episodes Infinite Play:...
121 Beyond Attachment Theory: Why Men Need to Pull Away

121 Beyond Attachment Theory: Why Men Need to Pull Away

Inevitably in a relationship there will be a point of tension where one partner wants to pull away when the other wants to keep connecting. In a SECURE male-female relationship, that usually means the man is the one pulling away. I’ll share why this has to be...
120 The Fool Archetype: Welcoming Chaos

120 The Fool Archetype: Welcoming Chaos

The Fool Archetype is the aspect of the psyche that takes nothing seriously, welcomes uncertainty, and always finds a way to break into laughter… In mythology it’s seen in the Trickster God. In psychology it’s sometimes labeled as the “Inner...
118 Why Humor is Important For the Human Mating Ritual

118 Why Humor is Important For the Human Mating Ritual

The man making the woman laugh is a critical part of the human mating ritual. This episode breaks down why, along with some principles that allow her to laugh more— No promises that it will make you actually funny 😉   Check out other episodes Attraction Training:...
113 Getting Off on Every Stroke (Existential Kink)

113 Getting Off on Every Stroke (Existential Kink)

“Getting off on every stroke” is a skill of turning unpleasant experiences into enjoyable ones. On the one hand it’s a nice metaphor for alchemizing suffering. On the other hand it’s a literal physical skill. Carolyn Elliott described it in her...
112 On Polarity: How to get her into her Feminine

112 On Polarity: How to get her into her Feminine

According to Jung, an intimate relationship actually involves four entities: The man’s masculine and feminine sides, and the woman’s masculine and feminine sides. How these archetypes interact determines the polarity and therefore healthy intimacy of the...
108 On Dominant Realities feat. Noelfry

108 On Dominant Realities feat. Noelfry

In this episode we talk about different perspectives on realities (subjective vs. objective reality), how we build our own reality, who sets the norms of “normal” vs. “not normal”. We talk about the effect of social media, the effect of...
107 How to Release Regret

107 How to Release Regret

Regret is a type of shame– One of the worst kinds since it allows the past to continually F up your present. This episode covers some of my recent experiences confronting these very old feelings. The two types of regret Why sometimes your actions SEEM outside of...
105 Dark Masculine 2: Freeing the Beast

105 Dark Masculine 2: Freeing the Beast

The ‘Dark Masculine’ is the set of testosterone-driven traits that have been evolutionarily beneficial, but not accepted by modern society. (Hence they are “dark”.) The first Dark Masculine episode (from last summer) focused on healing shame....
104 On the Lover and Dark Feminine feat. Noelfry

104 On the Lover and Dark Feminine feat. Noelfry

Q&A episode on the Lover Archetype, Dark Feminine, and Culture. Featuring Noelfry. Watch episode on YouTube Check out other episodes First Kill: Slaughtering a Chicken, True Nature, and Responsibility by Ruwando | 5 January 2021 | Episodes | 0 CommentsPowered by...
103 Magician Archetype

103 Magician Archetype

The Magician Archetype is the part of the psyche responsible for creativity, making meaning, and spirituality. It’s the part of you that “writes” your life story. This episode covers: Understanding “magic” and the creative process...
101 Dr. Cam Sepah: Dopamine Fasting, Maximus

101 Dr. Cam Sepah: Dopamine Fasting, Maximus

Dr. Cam Sepah is a psychology, professor at UCSF Med School, and the founder of a number of startups including Maximus, a telehealth service for men’s psychological and physiological development. We speak about his Dopamine Fasting protocol, men in the modern...
Nalaya Chakana: On Making Love, Co-Variant Polarity

Nalaya Chakana: On Making Love, Co-Variant Polarity

Nalaya Chakana is my beloved. She’s also an intimacy coach and has been on the podcast before. We speak about maturing archetypes, dating, and a bit on our love story. (Don’t worry it’s not too sappy.) Join Nalaya’s Facebook community Make Love...
Solving the Ambition/Acceptance Dilemma

Solving the Ambition/Acceptance Dilemma

Should you “Go hard” or “Embrace where you’re at?” Each of these two impulses have a time when they are useful but also negative fallout.– Going hard gets results, but at the wrong time can lead to burn out. Acceptance can be...
How to Overcome Apathy

How to Overcome Apathy

Apathy mutes your ability to experience life. It blocks you from enthusiasm, connection, creativity, and even knowing what to do with yourself. I speak about the root cause of apathy and the ONE thing that overcomes it. Btw, we’re trying a new version of...
Independent Frames

Independent Frames

Why don’t men like being told what to do? Some may call that “fragile masculinity” or some insecure need for dominance. But actually there are real consequences for the man and his relationships if he too frequently takes orders. I share an example...
Mollie McGlocklin: Sleep is a Skill

Mollie McGlocklin: Sleep is a Skill

The last few months I’ve realized how important sleep quality is for testosterone, and therefore energy, mood, strength, libido, and success in life. Mollie is the founder of Sleep is a Skill, a company and podcast that aims to optimize your sleep. She shares a...
Lover Archetype

Lover Archetype

A lot of men lose their masculinity when they catch feelings for the feminine. (But it doesn’t have to be that way.) As voted on, and inspired by recent posts in the group, next live discussion is on maintaining polarity in relationship. We’ll focus on 3...
How to Deal with Women’s Anger

How to Deal with Women’s Anger

If a woman you’re intimate with is throwing anger at you, it’s not necessarily a bad thing. Actually, it might be a good sign. And an opportunity to deepen the relationship. However, many analytical guys mess it up…. In this episode I share the 3...
Jack Donovan: The Way of Men

Jack Donovan: The Way of Men

Jack Donovan is author of The Way of Men, Becoming a Barbarian, and A More Complete Beast. We speak about the tactical virtues of masculinity, honor cultures, male mythologies, polytheistic take on psychology, and even a little economics (kind of.)...
Gnosis: Creating From No-Mindedness

Gnosis: Creating From No-Mindedness

“Gnosis” is the name for a mental state that you’ve probably experienced before, if only accidentally. This state is a solution to anxiety and a way to “get out of your own way” in creating what you want. I share some perspectives from...
On Loving Fearlessly

On Loving Fearlessly

I recently spoke with a guy who realized that he walled up his heart to prevent sadness… but it also blocked him from feeling joy and real intimacy. How does one get over the fear of being heartbroken? Check out other episodes Chris Bale: Masculine Intent by...
Christian Graugart (BJJ Globetrotter)

Christian Graugart (BJJ Globetrotter)

Christian Graugart is the founder of BJJ Globetrotters, a community for people who travel and do jiu-jitsu. We speak about the tribal nature of humans (and its problems), his taoist-like philosophy, and of course, jiu-jitsu. Check out other episodes Paying for Women,...
Sarah Steel (Let’s Talk About Sects): Cult Psychology

Sarah Steel (Let’s Talk About Sects): Cult Psychology

Sarah Steel is the host of Let’s Talk About Sects, a podcast about cults. I was on her show just recently in episode on OneTaste (premiers today). We talk about group social dynamics, the psychology of cult leaders and members, ethics, and propaganda. Follow her...
Warrior Archetype

Warrior Archetype

The Warrior Archetype is the set of testosterone-driven impulses that have a man develop his competence and courage. It’s also associated with aggression which is why it’s often attacked as “toxic masculinity”. This episode discusses the...
Why Commitment is a Masculine Virtue

Why Commitment is a Masculine Virtue

“There is a lot of correlation between rough childhoods and fatherless homes. But there is also a negative effect on the FATHER shirking his responsibility.” Despite the fact that women are usually the ones raising the topic of commitment in hetero...
Going Out On Your Shield: Embracing Failure

Going Out On Your Shield: Embracing Failure

“Come back with your shield – or on it” ~ Spartan mothers to their sons before battle (according to Plutarch) Queen Gorgo says those words to Leonidas in the movie 300. Deontay Wilder referenced it in his willingness to be KO’ed cold rather...
Dominance Hierarchies

Dominance Hierarchies

Our Emotional-Territorial brain evolved to1) connect as social groups,2) determine place in the ‘dominance hierarchy’. Much of our self-esteem, locus of control, and ability to socialize comes down to the imprinting of the primitive nervous system. This...
Changing Your Filter on Reality

Changing Your Filter on Reality

“Reality is a controlled hallucination” (Anil Seth) This episode explores the different layers of reality perception. The goals and vulnerabilities of the ‘Reason Circuit’, and how perception can be bent to intentionally influence reality. We...
Craig Parkin: Experiencing Wealth

Craig Parkin: Experiencing Wealth

Craig Parkin is the author of Experiencing Wealth, a book on the psychology of deservedness (my interpretation). He and I met in Thailand. We’ve had a lot of fun conversations. This is one of them. Enjoy. https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08L671XZD Check out other...
Breaking Social Construction of Reality

Breaking Social Construction of Reality

Most of our perceptions of reality come from our social conditioning. Your recurrent states like confidence, connection, inner peace are often a result of your social (collective) programming. This discussion will cover how to *Break the Game* of societal reality so...
Nicole Brenny: Psychomagic

Nicole Brenny: Psychomagic

Nicole Brenny is a vedic astrologer, YouTuber, and coach. She and I used to host a pirated radio show under the train tracks in Brooklyn. She recently did a “psychomagic” session on me a la the work of Alejandro Jodorowsky. It was cool. It was also weird....
Overcoming Cyclical Depression, Suicidal Impulses

Overcoming Cyclical Depression, Suicidal Impulses

When I was 15 I tried to kill myself. Since then I have had cyclical depression. It’s been an ongoing journey that has led many beautiful things and various challenges. I’m sharing this with the hope that it helps other people. Depression doesn’t...
Anish Patel: Feminine Cleanse

Anish Patel: Feminine Cleanse

Anish Patel is a men’s coach who has worked with Dr. Robert Glover and others. He shares with me an interesting practice called the Feminine Cleanse for men to let go of limiting behavior in relating to women and their masculinity. Check out other episodes Om...
Self-Validation & Assigning Meaning to Goals

Self-Validation & Assigning Meaning to Goals

Powered by RedCircle On my weekend detox trip a friend had a powerful experience regarding self-validation. Check out other episodes Spiritual Death feat. Devin Ashmiel Divine by Ruwando | May 1, 2019 | Episodes | 0 CommentsPowered by RedCircleAshmiel is a healer and...
Nalaya Chakana: Daring to Love, Conscious Celibacy

Nalaya Chakana: Daring to Love, Conscious Celibacy

Powered by RedCircle Nalaya Chakana is an intimacy coach who helps people experience real love and connection. She and I met in Peru some years ago. I had to ask her about conscious celibacy because… well you’ll see. Her Dare to Love course starts in...
Father Nature, King Archetype

Father Nature, King Archetype

Powered by RedCircle The King Archetype is the aspect of masculinity that expresses responsibility, fatherhood, and security. In modern society, many men are lacking expression in this archetype. In order to fully actualize, one must be able to access this aspect of...
Victoria Redbard: New Paradigm Intimacy

Victoria Redbard: New Paradigm Intimacy

Powered by RedCircle Victoria Redbard is a somatic sexologist and founder of The Institute of New Paradigm Intimacy. We speak about polarity in society, sex magic, and integrating eros into life. Also, buttplugs for business. (Listen to find out what that means.)...
The Unshakable Abundance Reality

The Unshakable Abundance Reality

Powered by RedCircle Abundance and Scarcity are states of the psyche that affect our nervous systems, mental health, and ability to experience objective wealth (be it with money, love, or even inspiration). This episode breaks down The Abundance Model, a method of...
Antidotes to Nice Guy Syndrome

Antidotes to Nice Guy Syndrome

Powered by RedCircle Nice Guy Syndrome is a set of maligned characteristics that have been conditioned into most men to some degree. It usually shows up in dating, relationships, and work. For a man to be personally fulfilled, but also useful to others he needs to get...
Michael Pariser: Nice Guy Hero’s Journey

Michael Pariser: Nice Guy Hero’s Journey

Powered by RedCircle Michael Pariser, PsyD is a therapist and author of No More Mr. Nice Guy: The Hero’s Journey, a guide that takes men through a process of overcoming ‘Nice Guy Syndrome’. In this episode we break down male psychological tendencies,...
Laurie Handlers & Om Rupani: Tantra Meets BDSM

Laurie Handlers & Om Rupani: Tantra Meets BDSM

Powered by RedCircle Laurie Handlers and Om Rupani teach Tantra Meets BDSM, a class for real intimate polarity (something many are particularly challenged by in quarantine). We speak about sexual archetypes, creating trust, and topics critical to real intimacy. Check...
Dark Masculine: How To Overcome Sexual Shame

Dark Masculine: How To Overcome Sexual Shame

Powered by RedCircle Internalized shame is a killer of self-esteem, libido, and a person’s spirit. More than ever before, collective morality shames authentic masculinity. The ‘Dark Masculine’ is the archetype of removing shame and returning to true...
Reality Dominance

Reality Dominance

Powered by RedCircle Ruwan discusses Reality perception in this live discussion. Check out other episodes Individuation vs. Collective Unconscious by Ruwando | January 7, 2020 | Episodes | 0 CommentsPowered by RedCircleThis episode was inspired by some synchronistic...
Ivan Zoric: Mixed Movement Arts

Ivan Zoric: Mixed Movement Arts

Powered by RedCircle Ivan Zoric is a movement mechanic and founder of Momentum Phangan, a movement gym/placespace in Koh Phangan. We speak about his 4 Corners philosophy for strength and mobility training. Ivan’s Youtube:...
Mantak Chia: MultiOrgasmic Man, Universal Healing Tao

Mantak Chia: MultiOrgasmic Man, Universal Healing Tao

Powered by RedCircle Mantak Chia is the grandmaster of the Taoist lineage of energy cultivation. He is the author of over 50 books including The MultiOrgasmic Man. In this episode, we speak about the Tao, spirit, energy cultivation. For the video version of this...
John Gray: Beyond Mars and Venus, Hormones, Polarity

John Gray: Beyond Mars and Venus, Hormones, Polarity

Powered by RedCircle On the threshold of my recent breakup, a friend lent me the book Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. At first, I resisted at it. I knew the book. I remember my mom watching the book’s author, John Gray, on Oprah when I was 7 years old....
Marc Lewis, Ph.D.: The Biology of Desire

Marc Lewis, Ph.D.: The Biology of Desire

Powered by RedCircle 2012 introduced me to the darkness of the unconscious. I fell in love with a hardcore drug addict. I didn’t understand addiction. I thought she just had an issue with willpower. All I knew was that she possessed a joie de vivre, a passion...
Carolyn Elliott: Existential Kink

Carolyn Elliott: Existential Kink

Powered by RedCircle Carolyn Elliott is the author of Existential Kink, a method for getting what you want by getting off on what you don’t. She and I met in OneTaste many moons ago. We talk about ‘practical magick’ (tinkering with the unconscious...
Rick & Morty & Archetypal Masculinity

Rick & Morty & Archetypal Masculinity

Powered by RedCircle Rick and Morty is one of the most popular TV shows due to great writing and clever plotlines. But one of the reasons for its diehard male fan base may be how the show demonstrates elements of the male psychodrama. In this episode, Ruwan discusses...
Prometheus Rising: 4 Neural Circuits of Consciousness

Prometheus Rising: 4 Neural Circuits of Consciousness

Powered by RedCircle Drawing from Robert Anton Wilson’s Prometheus Rising, we dig into Timothy Leary’s Eight Circuit Model of Consciousness. The first four circuits (bio-survival, emotional-territorial, semantic, and socio-sexual) are present in all...
Lt. Col. Dave Grossman: On Combat, On Killing

Lt. Col. Dave Grossman: On Combat, On Killing

Powered by RedCircle Lt. Col. Dave Grossman is a retired Army Ranger and the author of On Killing, On Combat, and a number of other books on the psychology of violence. His first book greatly influenced Ruwan when he was an officer select in the US Marine Corps. We...
Lt. Col. Dave Grossman: On Combat, On Killing

Dr. Steve G. Jones: Is Astral Projection a Thing?

Powered by RedCircle Dr. Steve Jones is a clinical hypnotherapist and has been on TV a lot. I brought him on to speak on Astral Projection: the subjective act of leaving the body. He shares some hows and whys along with some interesting takes on reality. Free hypnosis...
Lt. Col. Dave Grossman: On Combat, On Killing

Father Wound & Secondary Father

Powered by RedCircle The Father Wound are insecurities that come from the shortcomings of our primary role model. Many myths show slaying a father figure (i.e. Luke Skywalker vs. Darth Vader) because it represents a man being able to separate from his paternal shadow....
Lt. Col. Dave Grossman: On Combat, On Killing

Brett Jones: StrongFirst, Kettlebell Training

Powered by RedCircle Brett Jones is the chief instructor at StrongFirst, accomplished strongman. We speak about strength from the cellular level all the way up to the mindset required to apply force. Aside from the useful strength tips, this episode is chock full of...
Lt. Col. Dave Grossman: On Combat, On Killing

Completing Psychological Adolescence

Powered by RedCircle How to evolve out of ‘boy psychology’: How individual consciousness correlates with collective, manic pixie dream girl/great mother, dark triad traits and completing cycles, Freud’s sexual theory. For the video version of this...
Lt. Col. Dave Grossman: On Combat, On Killing

Matt Bowden: Adventures with Drugs and Manifestation

Powered by RedCircle Matt Bowden is a musician and visionary who created safe alternatives to drugs in New Zealand. He is featured in a VICE documentary on the legal drug trade. We speak about intuition, spirituality, and of course, drugs. Check out other episodes...
Lt. Col. Dave Grossman: On Combat, On Killing

Om Rupani: Masculine Resilience

Powered by RedCircle Om is a D/S instructor who has been on the podcast quite a few times. I recently watched the Red Pill documentary and wanted to speak with him on the male response to hardship. Om has a few workshops this year and will put up the dates as they are...
Lt. Col. Dave Grossman: On Combat, On Killing

Cult Psychology Principles and Tactics

Powered by RedCircle We speak about the Dark Arts… How cults/advertisers/propangandists shift collective reality; How to recognize and avoid unconscious negative influence; How to use it positively in leadership, relationships, family, and social situations....
Lt. Col. Dave Grossman: On Combat, On Killing

Jordan Luke Collier: Subjective vs. Objective Beauty

Powered by RedCircle Jordan is the head instructor of Ars Amorata. We philosophize on beauty as a heuristic for navigating life. Check out other episodes Laurie Handlers & Om Rupani: Tantra Meets BDSM by Ruwando | July 15, 2020 | Episodes | 0 CommentsPowered by...
Lt. Col. Dave Grossman: On Combat, On Killing

The Virtue of Male Aggression

Powered by RedCircle Article from early 2018. This one got me kicked off The Good Men Project for being “too volatile.” Check out other episodes Michael Pariser: Nice Guy Hero’s Journey by Ruwando | July 16, 2020 | Episodes | 0 CommentsPowered by...
Lt. Col. Dave Grossman: On Combat, On Killing

Christina Berkley: Orgasm, Money, Potatoes

Powered by RedCircle “Money is like potatoes,” she said. Christina Berkley helps coaches build stunning practices and edge-walkers live stunning lives. I met her that time I was in a matriarchal sex cult where she was once a lead instructor. Her journey is a synthesis...
Lt. Col. Dave Grossman: On Combat, On Killing

Reshaping Emotional Patterns, Trauma

Powered by RedCircle One of the most frustrating things is when you intend to do one thing, but end up doing the opposite. This happens a lot in emotionally-charged situations like in dating, intimacy, or creative purpose. Much of our behavior can seem like...
Lt. Col. Dave Grossman: On Combat, On Killing

Matt Cone: The Abundance Model

Powered by RedCircle Matt Cone is a philanthropist and philosopher. I met Matt on a retreat in Thailand 2 years ago. He shared something called ‘The Abundance Model’, a philosophy and system for dealing with money. I was a bit skeptical at first, but...
Lt. Col. Dave Grossman: On Combat, On Killing

Iain Armstrong: Taoism and Kung Fu

Powered by RedCircle Iain Armstrong is a Kung Fu master in Thailand and the lineage holder of Nam Yang Kung Fu originated in Shaolin. We speak on Taoism, the mind-body connection, and understanding ‘qi’ in relation to physical fitness and longevity. Check out his work...
Lt. Col. Dave Grossman: On Combat, On Killing

Individuation vs. Collective Unconscious

Powered by RedCircle This episode was inspired by some synchronistic events: a coaching conversations, ponderings on my new tattoo, and an essay by Carl Jung. Check out other episodes Dr. Robert Glover: Nice Guy Syndrome, Archetypal Masculinity by Ruwando | May 22,...
Lt. Col. Dave Grossman: On Combat, On Killing

Sex Transmutation, Explained

Powered by RedCircle Napoleon Hill’s term for “channeling sexual energy” is often talked about, but rarely in a way that is practical. In this video I speak on a workable model for how to use “sexual energy” towards well-being and...